Wedding invitations: when and how to send them

Invitations are sent four to six months before the wedding, earlier if many guests are coming from afar or if the date falls in high summer. They must show the date, the places, the times, the reply deadline and how to reply.

When to send them

Four to six months before is the right interval: early enough for everyone to book leave and arrange accommodation, late enough for your timings to be settled. For a wedding abroad, a long weekend or August, give notice as soon as the date is set, with a simple message, and send the invitation afterwards.

What it should include

• Your two first names, and your surnames if some guests don't know them.
• The date, and the time you need to be there.
• The exact address of each venue: town hall, ceremony, reception.
• What the person is invited to: ceremony, drinks reception, meal, brunch.
• The reply deadline, and how to reply.

The rest, accommodation, directions, gift list, dress code, works better on an online page than on a card.

Inviting to the drinks reception only

It's common and well accepted, as long as it's said unambiguously. Prepare two cards, or a shared card and a “meal” card slipped only into certain envelopes. The worst case is the guest who discovers on the day that they have no seat at the table.

Paper, digital, or both

The paper invitation remains a lovely object to keep. The link or QR code on it does the practical work: replying, reading the information, finding it again the day before. For guests who aren't comfortable with a phone, plan to enter their reply yourself after a phone call.

Addresses, the real difficulty

Gathering postal addresses takes longer than choosing the design. Start the list by household, not by person: one invitation per address, with the first names of everyone invited.